Invisible Jenni

Considering the long list of medications that I take for various physical conditions, I made a decision a long time ago that medication and alcohol don't mix.  So even though I am well beyond the legal drinking age, I just don't.  No alcohol for me.  Which, for me, really isn't a problem.  I have no issue enjoying myself in social situations without having a few drinks.  So it came as quite a surprise when at a recent doctor's visit I was told that my liver tests were abnormal.  This was followed by an abdominal ultrasound and a diagnosis of fatty liver.  What?  How did that happen?

What I didn't know was that fatty liver is not only restricted to alcohol consumption; it is a complication of diabetes.  I was diagnosed with diabetes (type 2) sixteen years ago.  My doctor at the time gave me a prescription and the standard lecture about healthy eating, exercise, and weight loss.  Complications were never mentioned.

Now, I must admit, I'm an emotional eater and I was able to eat my way to becoming overweight.  It didn't help that the medication I was taking slowed my metabolism and packed on 20 pounds within 6 months.  Since I was comfortable with my body and was able to keep my blood sugar under control I never took the exercise and weight loss admonitions to heart.

Finding out that my liver is now damaged changed my mind very quickly.  I've only got one liver, and I'm really rather fond of keeping it.  So my extremely supportive husband and I made two immediate changes.  First, we each purchased a fitbit; witch tracks our steps, mileage, stairs climbed, calories burned, monitors our sleep and even has a lovely vibrating alarm clock (you wear the fitbit on your wrist just like a watch).  If you don't have one I highly recommend the brand.  If you can't afford one, there are many different pedometers on the market that come at all different price ranges.  With our fitbit we aim to get 10,000 steps per day.  That is the amount recommended by the American Heart Association and also by our personal physician.  The first day I wore my fitbit, I logged 1400 steps.  I was highly shocked at how little I was actually moving.  So far I have only hit my 10,000 step goal twice; but it is a goal that I keep working on.

Second, we changed our diet.  We didn't go on a diet (I'd been on plenty of those before), we just changed what we eat.  So I'll let you know what we are doing, but you should check with your doctor and find out what is right for you.

Here's what we affectionately call the liver diet:

• No Red Meat
• No Dairy (yes, this includes ice cream, milk, yogurt, and cheese)
• No Sugar
• No Caffeine (wean yourself off by getting rid of soda, going to one cup of coffee per day, then one cup of black tea, then green tea, then herbal, etc.)
• Fish, fish, and more fish (especially salmon)--be mindful of fish that can have excess mercury
• Organic, free-range chicken
• Organic, free-range eggs (love these hard boiled and toss the yolk)
• Vegetables, Vegetables, and more Vegetables (these are colorful and are very good for you--who knew?)
• Fruit, and more Fruit
• Only Whole Grains for breads, pastas, rice, etc.
• Water, water, and more water... wait did I mention water???

Really, I can't hear you.  Or perhaps it is better said that I can hear you, I just can't understand you.  I know that you are speaking, but your voice blends into the multitude of other sounds and becomes a wind tunnel in my mind.

For the past five years I believed that I was going deaf.  I kept having my hearing checked with the same results.  My hearing is just fine, above average according to the test results, well above average.  The problem isn't with my ears--they work just fine--it's all in my head, literally.  I recently had a brain MRI and as with my hearing tests, my brain is picture perfect--it just isn't functionally perfect.  At the age of 36 I have been diagnosed with Central Auditory Processing Disorder.

This isn't something that is commonly diagnosed among adults; unless of course you have recently had a head trauma such as a car accident, or have Multiple Sclerosis or Parkinsons Disease.  So my doctors sent me for a long series of tests to try and find out why this happened and why now, thus the MRI above.  You see while I am not the healthiest of adults, I do not have MS or Parkinsons (although it does run in my family), nor did I have a recent head trauma.  What I did have was a lengthy list of head traumas in my past--I believe eleven was the final count.  So the doctors tell me that this disorder, CAPD, is a result of the multiple traumas and that it has been slowly coming on for quite some time.

So what is Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) all about?  Hard question to answer, since every person who has it will give a slightly different answer.  For me, I can hear perfectly--if I am sitting in a sound proof room with only one sound coming into my ears at a time.  Take me out of that room and I am lost.  Every sound around me blends together in my mind; it's as if I'm in the middle of a wind tunnel.  The more sounds, the louder the wind.  The audiologists tells me I have a pretty extreme case.  Current testing technology can measure a 5 decibel sound difference.  I can't distinguish human voice at that difference, much less distinct words.

In order to communicate with me, I need to see your face.  I don't really read lips, at least I've never taken a class on it.  I suppose it's an adaptation that I've used over the years.  I watch your lips and face for cues that tell me what you might be saying.  My husband and I have gotten pretty good at this, with new people not so much.  I watch television with the closed captioning on and utilize a FM system when it is essential that I be able to hear someone speaking.  The scariest part of this disorder is walking through a parking lot or along a sidewalk.  I literally can't hear cars or bicyclists coming up behind me.  I have to be extra vigilant about watching where I walk.

So you'll never see my illness, you couldn't pick me out of a crowd.  But I'm still here, Invisible Jenni.  I could be your next door neighbor, your classmate, your co-worker, the person you'll meet tomorrow.  If you speak up please don't think I'm ignoring you... I just can't hear you.